The science of connection, the friendship recession, and three ways to build community for a longer life.

Loneliness. We all know it has become one of the chronic, debilitating issues of modern life. In a world of nearly 830 million people aged 65 or older, expecting to double to 1.7 billion by 2054, an aging population will be a growing societal issue for most developed nations.

In the US Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory titled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, it was reported that loneliness and social isolation are associated with a 26 percent and 29 percent increased risk of mortality, respectively. A review published in Nature Human Behaviour found that social isolation was linked to a 32 percent higher risk of mortality. 

Loneliness can increase the risk of hypertension, heart disease[hahrt dih-zeez]nounConditions affecting heart health and circulation.Learn MoreClose, and stroke, as well as depression and anxiety. While it can affect people of all ages, it is those over 65 who are the most vulnerable, as they step out of jobs and careers, lose spouses to divorce or death, and deal with families that have dispersed to other parts of the country or world.

In the era of longevity, how will people find ways to have social connections for longer, healthier lives? 

Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, oversees the longest in-depth study of physical and mental well-being among adults. It has tracked hundreds of young adults from 1938 into their 80s.

Waldinger also co-wrote the book The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness with Marc Schulz. In an interview in the Harvard Gazette, Waldinger reported that satisfaction in relationships, particularly in marriages, was the best predictor of a happy and healthy life. He went on to say that the best data-backed hypothesis suggests that our relationships help us regulate stress. What he calls “social fitness” is as important

as physical fitness and well-being when it comes to longevity. 

He notes in the research that everybody needs at least one solid relationship. Waldinger also points out that new relationships can start at any age, as our social life is a living system that relies on maintenance and ongoing cultivation. People at 70, 80, or older can make new friends of all ages. And in the future of the 100-year life, a new friendship at 70 could last thirty years!

In the 2020s, people have fewer institutional connections (like those formed through organized religion or affinity clubs) versus past generations. One benefit of those institutions was that they brought together people of all ages. Without them, people gravitate to others their own age who have had similar life experiences, which gives them a one-dimensional view of the world. In addition, large cohorts of older people either never married or are divorced or widowed. As of 2023, approximately 28 percent of Americans aged 50–64 and 36 percent of those aged 65 and older are single. Among women aged 65 and older, 49 percent are single. 

As we all live longer, the risk of loneliness and social isolation is poised to become an even bigger issue, especially for women. While there is increased awareness of the topic, who is focused on finding real-life solutions rather than just reporting on it? While it’s important for researchers, doctors, sociologists, psychologists, the media, and others to highlight the concerns, where are the action plans to fix the problem?

Solving the Loneliness Crisis 

Fortunately, there are initiatives around the world, fueled by organizations, nonprofits, local governments, and individuals, that are driving innovative approaches that will help those living longer lives. The efforts range from promoting multigenerational relationships to using new kinds of community groups, unique grassroots programs, and emerging technology to reduce loneliness. The people driving these ideas are the Re-Imagineers of community initiatives, and they are bringing people together in new ways.

1) Socialize Outside of Your Own Age Group

Some approaches to building community emphasize family and the value of pursuing multigenerational relationships. 

CoGenerate is an organization committed to bridging generational divides to cocreate the future. Marc Freedman and Eunice Lin Nichols are co-CEOs with a deep commitment to building cross-generational relationships. When I spoke with Freedman in March 2025, he explained why this was important: “The research shows that there is a complementarity of the assets of generations. I think this deep emotional longing to connect across generational lines to get a sense of the wholeness of life is very real.”

Freedman points out that there is also intergenerational richness in areas like music. Johnny Cash and Rick Rubin, Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett, Kris Kristofferson and Sinéad O’Connor, and Brandi Carlile and Elton John are just a few examples of pairings that have the potential to appeal to people of all generations, bringing them together in the shared experience of music.

2) Reach Across the Gender Divide

Many studies have found that women tend to be better at building and sustaining community than men. Research shows, women share more openly with their friends and rely on friendships more often for social support, which has both physical and psychological benefits. An article published by the Institute for Family Studies suggests that men have less experience communicating about their feelings, which hinders them from forming deep friendships.

Another study revealed that 44 percent of men in corporate jobs say that being at work is the loneliest time of the day, and they are significantly less likely than women to turn to friends for support when they are facing challenges, particularly at work.

Fortunately, new support groups are emerging to help men learn the kinds of skills they need to create communities and reduce loneliness, especially as they age. One such resource is MELD (Men’s Emotional Leadership Development). Cofounder Owen Marcus says his approach, grounded in the latest scientific understanding of stress, trauma, and emotional physiology, offers a robust alternative to traditional models of men’s emotional health. “One of the most groundbreaking aspects of our work is the emphasis on communal growth and connection. At the heart of our methodology is somatic mindfulness[mahynd-fuhl-nis]nounThe practice of paying attention to the present moment with non-judgmental awareness.Learn MoreClose: the practice of using body awareness as a conduit for emotional awareness and expression,” he explained in a 2024 article for ROAR forward.

3) Build Community Around What You Love

You can, of course, also build communities of your own. In my family, we are intentional about making sure that all the generations come together on a regular basis to learn about our family history. Both of my paternal grandparents were Irish immigrants who came to America in the early twentieth century. One year, a multi-generational group of us went to County Monaghan to spend time with our large extended Irish family and to study the family tree, which was traceable back to 1791. Ranging in age from 3 to nearly 90, we shared stories, wisdom, and connections, all brought to life by our cousin Suzanne, the family historian, who had letters, photographs, and documents that chronicled our family’s activities.

Excerpted from Longevity Nation by Michael Clinton. Simon & Schuster, 2026.

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