Break Your Labels: How to Challenge the Identity Myths Holding You Back

How often do you find yourself saying or thinking, Oh, that’s just the way I am?

Says who? 

I would encourage you to consider the fact that perhaps it’s NOT the way you are—it’s the way you’ve chosen to be. We all have the tendency to apply labels to ourselves, and, often, these labels aren’t even true.

Years ago, I heard something from a well-known mental health professional that stuck with me: “All human beings have three fundamental core delusions about themselves.” Think about that for a second. These beliefs feel like part of our identity, yet they’re actually delusions—false narratives we’ve convinced ourselves are true. I’ll give you an example.

About 10 or 15 years ago, my wife was telling me, “You’d be great at storytelling. You’d be great at interviewing people. You’re really good at explaining things.” 

And my response? “What are you talking about?” I was a photographer. Photographers don’t talk—we’re in the background. That’s just who I was. Or so I thought. Then, by necessity, I found myself in situations where I had to speak in front of people. I even gave a TED Talk—one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. But guess what? I survived. And that moment cracked open a new door, a new line of thinking: Maybe I’m not the person I thought I was.

How to Not Self-Sabotage

That’s the power of these self-limiting beliefs, or these core delusions, as I think of them. Often, they stem from negative experiences in childhood (it always comes back to childhood), critical feedback, or societal pressures. But putting too much stock in our limiting beliefs keeps us stuck, limits our growth, and prevents us from reaching our goals and our true potential. We may become more inclined to not feel motivated, have lower self-esteem, procrastinate, suffer from imposter syndrome, and ultimately self-sabotage if we don’t challenge these ideas through action—doing the very thing we think we can’t do.  

Putting too much stock in our limiting beliefs keeps us stuck, limits our growth, and prevents us from reaching our goals.

I’ve learned that one way to spot these self-limiting beliefs is to notice when someone suggests I’d be good at something and my gut reaction is an immediate, No way. That’s impossible for me. That’s often a sign that it’s exactly what I could do—and maybe should do. It took me years to learn this. (I’m a slow learner, what can I say?) But if someone ever tells you, You’d be great at coaching kids, or You’d be amazing on stage, or You’re actually a natural athlete, and your instinct is to reject it outright—pay attention.

That resistance? It’s a signal.

Here’s a trick I picked up: Imagine the opposite of what you assume to be true. For example, for most of my life, I thought public speaking was terrifying. Now? I love it. It’s fun, energizing, even easy. This was unthinkable to me before. So, what if that thing you believe you can’t do…you actually could? What if learning a new language, running a marathon, or switching careers was not just possible, but enjoyable? Who would you be then?

Who Would You Be Without That Label?

The labels we give ourselves—or that others place on us—are limiting. And as we get older, questioning those limitations becomes even more important. That’s why I started Super Age, to push back against the conventional wisdom that tells us what we can’t do. The idea that, after a certain age, we should be scared, slow down, or accept decline. That’s just another delusion.

Every day, we face limitations—some imposed by society, some self-imposed. As you set your goals, ask yourself: What if the things I believe about myself aren’t true? What if what I’m capable of is far more than I think? And let’s be clear—this isn’t just about physical ability, though that’s part of it. It’s about breaking through mental barriers, rethinking what’s possible, and expanding our vision of who we can become. Because, chances are, you’re more than you’ve allowed yourself to believe. 

Our biggest challenge is our poverty of imagination of what is possible. Taking action and proving to ourselves that what we can do is more than we may have thought opens the door for us to expand our curiosity. It allows the realm of the impossible to arc toward the realm of the achievable. Aim high. You are more than you may think you are.